Back to Work

Well, I returned to work last Monday from a 6-week medical leave of absence, and as expected, there is a lot of catching up to do, so I am chipping away at the pending work orders, organizational and budgetary items, and all the other aspects of my job as the Information Systems Administrator of a small city.

I need to remember to rely on the Lord and to keep things in perspective. I woke up an hour and a half ago, and haven't been able to get back to sleep, so I decided to come down and read the Bible and pray. The Lord led me to this verse:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I remember the sermon our pastor preached on this verse, and there is an emphasis on ALL THINGS. So, as a child of God, I lean on the fact that He has a plan and purpose for the events that have been set in motion. I pray that God will give me the peace I need to conduct myself with dignity as I move forward with His plan. I am grateful to Him for the job I have and enjoy.

Summertime

Being home with my two sons reminds me that this is a time for boys to be boys. For them to enjoy the respite before school begins again. Having a soon to be 7th and 10th grader only makes me remember that they will soon be men, and for now, they should be boys. God has blessed me with this time to spend with them and see them at this turning point in their lives.

God is Good

Last May, I went to visit my doctor because I felt a lump in my breast that I wanted to get checked out. That was the beginning of one of those trials God uses to shape your character, one that requires you to lay your fears at His feet and rely on Him for strength. Waiting for the results of a biopsy is difficult, but relying on God for strength is the way I pushed forward.

You see, while I was getting checked in, the nurse asked me if I would like to have a pelvic exam. I’ve never been one to say “No” to having things checked out, so I said, “Sure.” This fateful moment is one that I thank God for because during the exam, the doctor found a large “mass” on my ovary.

The doctor set me up for further testing – a mammogram and an ultrasound. The ultrasound came first. The technician found a large mass on my ovary, about 4½” x 2” with smooth edges, but being fed by a blood supply. This mass had evidently been there quite a while and it was then that I made a connection between the “symptoms” I had been having and the mass. I didn’t realize those symptoms were serious enough to get checked out. (Please do not make this mistake too.) My doctor immediately ordered complete blood tests to get more information because the mass had a blood supply, and he said there was a 50/50 chance that the mass could be cancerous.

When I got home, I wanted to do some research on the internet to see what this was all about. Here I went to the doctor for a concern about one thing and found out there was something much more serious going on.

The information my research uncovered put me in a deep depression. Ovarian cancer has a very low chance of survival because the cancer is usually found late. The symptoms are usually overlooked. Every negative scenario went through my mind, and I couldn’t stop thinking about my children, and how much I wanted to see them grow up; to teach them about Jesus and to help keep them on the right path. I constantly fought back the tears. Seeing this, my wonderful husband whisked me and my family up to my Mom's house for the weekend, which was exactly what I needed. I couldn’t relax, but just being with my Mom helped tremendously. Even so, that weekend was traumatic.

While I was there, each moment I imagined there were terrible consequences going on in my body. Mind you, I try to stay healthy - had just joined a gym and was feeling GREAT about working out. And the only difference from one day to the next was the pending diagnosis. I kept telling myself this to keep me from losing it. I felt like my world was crumbling from under my feet, and I spent the weekend praying fervently.

I usually pray, but my prayers became more frequent. I told everyone I knew, so they would know what was going on, and so I could ask them to pray for me. I truly believe that God listens to and answers prayer for those who love Him.

I was reading my Bible and went to the Psalms for comfort. And I did take comfort in every word. Friends prayed that I would have a Peace that only Jesus could supply, and that prayer has been answered a hundredfold. Every day, I feel that Peace.

The mammogram results were read by a specialist at the Women’s Breast Clinic. When visiting that doctor, he said the mammogram looked pretty good, and gave me the option of having a fine needle biopsy, which was about 90% accurate or having a more complete biopsy, which would be 100% accurate. Since I had been knocked off balance by the news of the ovarian mass, I wanted to be 100% sure of the biopsy results, so I went for the second option.

I got a call from the Women’s Breast Clinic and they set up an appointment for me to have minor surgery to remove the breast lump a couple of weeks later. The doctor said the mammogram looked good and he was not very concerned that what he would find would be cancer, so this put my mind at ease. I also got a call from my gynecologist and he let me know the blood test results, which were also sent to a gynecological oncologist, came back showing a very low risk that the mass was cancerous. This took a HUGE weight off of my shoulders. But the mass would still have to be removed surgically.

When I went in for the breast biopsy, they used a local anesthesia. When the doctor gave me the injection, he said, "This is the worst part of the whole procedure." The shot was not bad at all, so I thought, "Oh, this won't be so bad." Unfortunately, I was still sensitive to the laser(?) they were using and they had to keep giving me more anesthesia. In the end, the doctor removed a golf ball-sized cyst, and I was really glad that I was going to be under general anesthesia for the major surgery, even though I was apprehensive about it.

The day came for me to have the ovarian mass removed and I continued to have a Peace about me. The surgery went without a hitch and my supportive family was there all the way. The results for both biopsies came back negative – thank God! I will always treasure the prayers and love from my family and friends during this trial.

So now comes the time for the slow recovery, to take time to “Lie down in green pastures,” and learn what God has in store for me next and how He wants me to serve him.